I live in a small town in the province of Verona. Around me a beautiful garden, and two houses, not much else. English in not my native language, but I almost feel freer to speak in English, without that perverse Italian culture, which shuts down alternative opinions, or critiques. I want to break free too.
Having an opinion or be critical about the status quo, is considered a social crime. In the last decades, the in positions of powers were defined by politics, not competence. This had a cascade effect in destroying cultural advancements.
Public services have become poorly managed, ineffective and abuse is just the norm. There is not even a possibility to be heard. Politics, over here, is like a professional association which doesn’t have the rule of law as a standard reference for its actions. In this kind of context, there is not much room for beauty, creativity, positive growth, both personal and as society, competence, achievements.
Personal relations are affected too, obviously, as the most abusive ones gain powers, those who question it, are sent away. Even to find highly educated people to speak and reason with, one needs to look oversee, as anyone who remains, doesn’t question, as a copying mechanism.
I obviously interact with many social structures, and I can see those copying mechanism in action. There cannot be deep respect for oneself and others, in a society whose main structures are abusive relation of power.
One can only decide not to continue the cascading effect and be a barrier to abuse, not accepting it and not doing it to others, no matter what. It is also important for non-abusers, to meet, as connections provide strength and support. Also, the solution, is not to promote abusive behavior, but behave as you wish to be treated. I don’t know how the abusive ones around you might understand or see what they are doing. I don’t know what can transform consciousness. Some believe that love has this power. Maybe. I really don’t know.
Feelings and knowledge must go hand in hand. One might help the other, or support the other or compensate the shortcomings of the other, but I don’t know how to train feelings. Maybe by not being scared to feel. I keep reading that it is fear that prevents us from experiencing life. So maybe having a more balanced approach to fear, could be a first step, not to be unnecessarily scared, which might lead to experiencing feelings.
How to create a fearless, welcoming environments? With openness, transparency, authenticity, with an understanding, non-judgmental approach. Using the information we acquire, not to punish, but to understand others, their actions and reactions. Acknowledging our feelings too and respecting them, is also a fundamental step towards respecting others. So when someone’s behavior is hurtful, it is right to honor it, to respond to that need and to communicate it, in a non-abusive manner, to start breaking the chains.